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sillyamerican

bitch im on the innanet

Went away to the country again last weekend – I know, it sounds like I live the life these days, doesn’t it? I totally do. Just rode up there in a limo and threw $100 dollar notes out the sunroof the whole time.

It’s a six hour drive to Crescent Head from Sydney which I didn’t mind because I got to eat McDonald’s and act like “I guess we’ll just have to get McDonald’s, there’s nothing else around.” (McDonald’s is like 1/3 of the reason I agree to any road trip.)

That  far outside of Sydney, there really IS nothing else around. I’m from a pretty small town, but it’s surrounded on all sides by OTHER small towns. Where we went last weekend – there was a town… and then nothing. It’s actually alarming.

Also, the food was alarming. I thought ordering pasta was a safe bet. Not so.

We stayed at the owner of Nick’s pub’s property, Ranch Relaxo. There was no one else there, so it was pretty amazing to have the place to ourselves. There was a beach walking distance away with NO ONE on it, which I love.

The house was Balinese style – open on all sides, really dim and cool inside.

The best part was all the different places available for one to nap. Seriously, day beds are where it’s at.

I spent 88% of the weekend here

Also, I saw a lot of wildlife (not leeches) which is my favorite thing.

By the end of the weekend we had seen:

4 kangaroos

1 red bellied black snake

1 White Lipped Australian Tree Frog

1 Goanna

We didn’t see a wombat. Starting to think that I will never see one which is devastating. True story, my eyes are welling up right now thinking about never petting one – I want to see one SO BAD.

I went to go to the bathroom one night and this is what I came upon:

So cute! And then he hopped into the toilet and swam away. It was the strangest thing. My eyes were about to pop out of my head. (Not Nick’s, he didn’t see on account of he got scared and ran into the other room like a little girl).

Turns out it’s a pretty standard thing – the frogs live in the pipes and sometimes in the cistern.  Even if you take them out and move them kilometers away they find their way back to the same toilet. It was very exciting to pee after that.

Also, the goanna:

You can’t really see it, so here are some google images so you understand just how horrifying this thing is.

please note the tongue

and the size

They are seriously like terrible dinosaurs.

And here’s the worst part: Sometimes they mistake you for a tree – and they CLIMB UP YOU.

oh, hayy

I mean, can you image? Look at it’s claws. Absolutely fucking not. I would spontaneously combust.

So yeah. That’s why my photo was a distance shot.

Anyways, no adventures this weekend. No animals in Rosebery. Lara Fuller coming over tonight. Going to cook a chicken and porcini mushroom risotto. Going to watch a movie and fall asleep on my couch, it’s all very glamorous.

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