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sillyamerican

bitch im on the innanet

…. there have been a few changes.

1) On August 31, Nick and I got married in my parents’ backyard in Hampden. It was pretty much the best ever. I’ll do a whole post on it another day, because I wouldn’t want to deny you guys the crafting bonanza that was our wedding day. Plus, we looked super good:

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2) We adopted a baby. Her name is Biggie Smalls.

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This is back when we got her in April when she was only a little baby. She’s bigger (well, rounder) now. I’m 100% obsessed with her – and if you’re not, than I’m really not sure we have anything to talk about.

3) I got a fringe! The last time I had a fringe I was four and it was for school picture day at preschool and my mom cut it into a downward facing point. NO AMOUNT OF VELVET DRESSES WITH LACE COLLARS COULD SAVE THAT PICTURE DAY! (She tried).

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4) I’ve switched job roles and am now looking after Bauhaus Hair, a salon that is part of the group… thus the excellent, non-pointy fringe.

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Yep, big changes. Plus I’m madly scheming to make over our house one room at time. Once the wedding was over I found myself without a PROJECT, and I can’t have that. It’s either renovate or get knocked up, and babies are sticky.

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This Sunday, Nick and I drove over to Bondi and checked out the Sculpture by the Sea coastal walk. We missed it last year and were determined not to do it again.  It was crowded during the afternoon, but really beautiful and open around 7 when we walked back to our car at Tamarama.

My favourite was the windmill stick-thingys with feathers on them (third from last). Nick’s favourite was the giant decapitated baby head.

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Week # 3 Nick loooooves to get real American with it.

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Week # 2 Lara and Andy’s wedding on Martha’s Vineyard…. amazing.

Feel very lucky that I got to be there the first time around, but feel even luckier about being a part of their wedding this time around. Was really beautiful to hear them say their vows surrounded by all their family and friends – plus, the party was ridic.

… Or, should I say, parties: this shit was a four day affair on the Vineyard, complete with hay ride, bonfire, burgers on the grill and beers on the beach. The four days was so good, because everyone got to know everyone. When the weekend ended, it was SAD. It felt like leaving summer camp (for really friendly alcoholics).  I need them to get started planning their vow renewal, STAT.

PS. The ceremony aspect of it went relatively smoothly (except when I lost my place in the notecards and had to flip through them 27 times.)  Pro tip: 4 Valiums makes you a superhero.

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Three weeks at home went by very, very fast.

I’ll give you a breakdown, accompanied by pics whenever possible.

Week 1 I was there on my own, as Nick could only come for two weeks. We agreed in advance that I would do wedding things during that week so that he could just relax when he got here. Doesn’t that sound so nice of me? Real talk, it was fab because I got to just do what I was going to do without having to pretend like I was considering Nick’s input on things. (Aside: a few months ago I mentioned to someone I’m doing dahlias as flowers – Nick goes to me, dead serious, “Dahlias? Are you sure? I don’t know.” I’m like…. um, are YOU sure? That THIS is what you want to get into it over? The flowers? Don’t peak too early, my friend.)

So, over the span of three days, my mom and I had a Western Mass bridal extravaganza. Dress, tent, tables, chairs, linens, lighting, catering staff, menu, bar, dance floor, portable toilets, florist, centrepieces, favors, SORTED. I might punch myself in the face later for saying this, but this planning a wedding stuff is a breeze. I mean, all you do is pick the what you like – and then buy the closest thing to it that you can afford. People (I) only care about food, booze and dancing. The rest of it is just bonus material.

meow if you agree

Also, I spent a lot of time lying in the grass in the sun in my backyard which is my #1, all-time favoritest thing to do. How could it not be, look how pretty their yard is!

After we banged out the wedding plans, I took the train down to Philly to visit my niece, Lola. BEHOLD THIS HAIR:

I just…. stop. She’s too cute! Just stop.

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I had a moment of clarity this weekend; as I heard the words, “Excuse me, do you have a condom?” come out of Lara Fuller’s mouth on Saturday, I knew my life was significantly closer to fulfillment.

You see, this Saturday was Lara Fuller’s Hens’ celebration in Sydney… Or as my sister and I were referring to it (because of Lara’s characteristically demure/tasteful behaviour), “The Lara Fuller Cotillion.”

Oh, how five consecutive shots of tequila enhance one’s wild side. In 7 or so years of knowing Lara Fuller, I can probably count the number of inappropriate things she’s said on one hand. She is averaging less than ONE OFF COLOUR COMMENT PER YEAR, people. She doesn’t even wear inappropriately cut clothing – not even loud colours!  So you SEE what we are dealing with here, and can thus understand how thrilling it is to get her totally drunk and force her to do embarrassing things.

Fuller & I on our way to the party – please note the sweater that was her outfit choice for her bachelorette party

We had lunch at 4Fourteen in Surry Hills which was is a beautiful space, and the food is also very good. From there, we laid out a trail of tabasco laced tequila shots to lure Fuller through Surry Hills on a pub crawl, and she happily complied.

Lara held up admirably well, everyone seemed to have a ball and we finished up the night dancing – I’d say it was a success… Now onto Part II: Boston.

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…makes you boring.

Or at least, it makes me boring. Nick and I are like two elderly citizens, eating casseroles and watching CSI, trying to save our dollars in the name of a big ass party. It’s quite hard to find awesome things to share when the most exciting part of my week was when I stayed up late Tuesday night and painted my toenails whilst talking shit with my best friend in NY. I mean, it was for sure fun for ME, I had an absolute ball. I just don’t know if YOU care about that. Karen’s in Spain living the gee dee life by the swimming pool, while I am here dying of loneliness and coldness and THIRST.

But, you know what? It’s all good, because I am going home in precisely 9 days. I can endure nine days of anything if it holds the promise of free pour cocktails and disgustingly hot weather at the end of it. Not lying, the hotter and grossly humid the better, I love that shit. Bring it on. I bought 7 new bikinis and I will be posted up on my parents’ porch drinking whiskey spiked ice tea and staring at trees and squirrels until I pass out doze off and then I’ll wake up and do it again. For THREE WEEKS.

Lara and Andy’s wedding is in there too – so that means nap-drinks in an alternate beach side location, which is also excellent.

I love Martha’s Vineyard. I love the very slow pace of it. I love the little grey houses. I love how they don’t use seatbelts. Lara’s family’s place especially – it’s all sand roads, no shoes, canned beer, bring a book to the beach, swim, take a walk, afternoon nap, burgers on the grill, cards, bit of banter. I honestly just asked myself what could be better, and I seriously can’t answer it. I cannot say that I have experienced anything better than that. Nope, stumped. Yeah, so, wish you could be there, etc.

I was nervous about being Lara and Andy’s celebrant, so I got some Valium.

And now I’m nervous about Valium + alcohol + dance floor. You know?

No seriously, I’m taking my celebrant duties very seriously. I’m dogsitting, so I practice on Jiggs. I get WAY into it, make myself cry and Jiggs is just chilling, lookin at me like this. Which I take to mean that I am engaging, yet authoritative.

See? This is why the engaged me doesn’t post. It’s just devolved into my daydreams and ramblings now really, hasn’t it? Soz (NOT soz).

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